Live Life

Just a quick post tonight.

When I was in the depths of the most difficult place in my life 16 years ago, I wrote - A Lot!  I journaled, I wrote poetry, and I prayed.  I was scared, I didn't know east from west, right from left.  I was walking through a space of life that I had never walked through before - making choices that I knew were not wise but afraid of the choices I would make otherwise.  I guess you could call it the valley of death.

I have long lost the original poem I wrote, but below is the essence of the poem that I was just thinking about tonight.  It changed my life.  I recognized in that time that I needed to Live.  To Live meant not giving up to the fear or the loneliness, that I was walking through but to embrace the space I was in.  At times to Live meant to explore, try new things, and be with others.  At times to Live meant embracing tears with a welcomeness.  The tears meant I was alive - but not to remain there - to move beyond the tears and into the joy of the unknown future.

To Live meant to recognize that God, the creator of the universe, the one who counsels, and gave up His life for me knew my future and although I didn't, I could embrace in His faithfulness, His goodness, and His mercy.  And in the Living, I could step into life without fear and enjoy Living in His creation.

To Live meant that I recognize that I have life and the life I have was meant for a greater purpose than myself.  I could laugh in the face of adversity.  I could stand strong in the face of fear.  I could love in the face of distrust.

In the end, recognizing that to not Live Life was Worse than Death is what brought me back to Life.  It is what brought me out of misery.  And although I didn't have any more answers than before I wrote the poem, I will never forget, that God's gift of poetry to me in that night was to forever Live Life. 

Since that time, Life has become synonymous to God and to Live means to Live for Him but at that time, to Live Life meant to move beyond my pity.  I pray that if you are not Living, you would choose to Live Life - never let a day be wasted.  Adventure is everywhere - whether it is a car accident, a grocery store trip, a cleanse, a video game, or traveling to the remotest place on earth, you can choose Adventure at every turn. 

Live Life

Update to Difficult Decisions and Diseases SUCK!!

Diseases still SUCK!!!

The middle of this post has more details regarding Ben's disease and how we have come to today...the end has an update on where we are today.

There are honestly a whole lot of unanswered questions with the decisions we face in choosing what route to take for Ben's future.  Dr Furuta (gastroenteralogist), Dr Atkins (allergy) along with a nutritionist work together to determine how to best maintain Ben's overall health profile.


History:
When Ben was just 18 months old, he was a sick boy with failure to thrive.  We found that due to his disease and food allergies, he was not and had not been absorbing nutrients as he should have been. His esophagus was swollen with strictures from eosinophil cells that do not belong in the esophagus.  These strictures look like coral reefs and keep growing until eventually the esophagus could be shut off.  The section of the esophagus could be cut out and the esophagus stretched but this is dangerous because it would cause thinning of the walls and a sharp piece of food could puncture the esophagus causing a life-threatening emergency situation.  SOOO... the main way to handle the problem is through diet.  It is so much more than "normal food allergies" - in that things that most people might have sensitivities to but be able to tolerate cause more damage for Ben.  If food restrictions are not effective, they use steroids to control the cells.

I'll save you the disgusting actual pictures but if you do a yahoo image search of what is EoE, there is an image with three shots of the esophogus - we have never seen the "normal' one - but we have seen the likes of both of the other before.

Recents History:
At this point, Ben's allergy tests are actually looking positive.  We left the office a few weeks ago with hope that he would actually be able to introduce most everything back into his diet.  They did three different types of tests.  As long as there was no allergic reaction in each of the three tests, our expectation was that he would be able to introduce that food back into his diet.  The only two items that showed up in any of the three tests was peanut and dairy.

You cannot imagine how elated we were to think he was going to be able to have ALL these food again - soy being the most exciting because it is in everything.  In fact a whole new genre of food he has never had would have been possible - Asian - with the introduction of soy!

We had one more hurdle to jump over before we would get to start introducing food - a baseline endoscopy.  This would be his 14th endoscopy and because he hadn't been having any significant symptoms and the allergy tests were so positive, this "scope" was just a routine scope in our mind.  The thing we had to do to reach the promised land of food :)

The day of the scope, I sat down with Dr Furuta to look over the images.  He showed me and I could see a bit of swelling and a few strictures in his esophagus, but honestly his esophagus looked better than I had ever seen it.  His stomach and upper lower intestines looked great in the images.  We still had to wait for the biopsies to be sent to the lab and hear back about those results.

The scope was on a Monday.  On Friday, Dr Furuta called back with the biopsy results and the news that there was swelling in both the esophagus and the stomach.  I asked what the eosiniphil count was - 72 and 36 respectively.  I was encouraged by the numbers to be honest.  72 was the LOWEST I had ever heard.  He's had them in the thousands before.  Dr Furuta did not sound as excited as I was.  He said he wanted to run more tests to find out what might be causing the swelling in the stomach.

Dr Atkins was out of the country for two more weeks and they work as a team.  Dr Furuta said we would wait until he came back to make any further plans.

I was honesty not worried at all.

Ben had an episode of his stomach hurting really badly soon after that essential oils, benadryl, nor tums would touch.  (well, the essential oils actually did give relief for 20 minutes at a time)  I wanted to ignore his stomach pain as "one incident."

So, when Dr Atkins' nurse, Jenn, called on Friday, I was really shocked to hear that not only were they NOT going to introduce any new foods to Ben's diet but in fact, they wanted to take more out - eggs and dairy OR he could go on steroids (for life).

Current Thoughts/Decisions:
Because this is a follow-up to the last post, I am not going to go into the details of the choice but tell you where we have landed at this point.

Ben does not want to go on steroids.  He is not interested in living with the side effects of steroids.  So, he, with a good attitude, will be choosing to alter his diet.  We do have a meeting (yet to be scheduled) with the Drs before anything actually changes.  Ray and I don't understand where they came up with egg and wheat as the choices to remove from his diet.  Because Dr Furuta and Dr Atkins are the leading docs in this field, we are choosing to trust their judgement but now without question :)

Specific Prayer Requests:
1.  If you could pray for us to ask the right questions that would be great!
2.  Also, assuming we change his diet, we know our diet will be altered as well.  There is a part of me that is super excited about the changes because the reality is we will be healthier than ever.  But I do pray to be able to find recipes/food that Ben will get excited for.
3.  The part of me that mourns the most is the fear of relationship.  When a diet is restricted, it is intimidating for others to invite you over.  I don't want his or our lives with others to be restricted.  He can bring his food, but others need to feel comfortable enough to know that he'd rather bring his food than be excluded.
4.  Then there are other things like youth group, sports, school, etc in which he will be the kid who has to exclude himself.  We know that a year from now all of this will be normal for us and although we will look back at this and know it was BIG then, it will not always be big; in fact, it will just be normal.  But I don't want to discount the life change now either.
5.  Pray for us to choose to take it moment by moment - one step at a time - to not look too far into the future or for us to be sucked in by the fears of being different.

Our prayer is that this verse we didn't even know we needed to commit to our heart but chose to commit to memory this month as a family would be one that is not just head knowledge but becomes heart living!

That is why,

for CHRIST'S SAKE,

I delight

In Weaknesses

In Insults

In Hardships

In Perscecutions

In Difficulties

FOR WHEN I AM WEAK,

THEN I AM STRONG.

2 Corinthians 12:10

We can only be strong when we know He is our strength.  I pray that as we walk through these difficulties, we will choose to delight in Him and be strong!

Ben's Week
This week I have seen Ben press into God and reach for strength that has been amazingly encouraging.  He is not looking forward to changes he knows is coming but also has a great attitude.  He has had adults and peers reach out to him which has brought much encouragement.  Thank you to each an everyone of you who commented on Facebook, this post, sent text messages, called, and grabbed him when you saw him.  It has meant A LOT to Ben (and me)!!! Not one name has been missed in his telling me who has showed him care.  He has been floored and definitely knows he is loved.

Natural Chemical Free Moisturizer for Beautiful Skin

A few days ago I was going to give ya'll a recipe for soft scrub.  That led to a very different post - all about Dr Bronner's Castille Soap.

You're still going to have to wait a bit for that soft scrub recipe because as I recounted in the last blog...it all began with a less expensive but yet effective way of caring for the skin on my face.  Our faces are fragile and give away our age - we cannot skimp on the care of our faces!!!

I use Dr. Bronner's for my cleanser straight from the bottle.  Just a dime size amount.  And I make my own moisturizer.  I spend about $1.00 a month to care for my face total compared to the $64.00 per month I used to spend and I have to admit that the results are actually better than anything I have used in the past. ...and I have used it ALL!!!  That $64.00 savings lets me wander and explore a bit more!

Some of my friends might be surprised to learn that I was actually a cosmetic counter salesperson for a very high end line of cosmetics in a department store.  I say surprised because I am far from a glamour girl these days.  I wear make-up on occassion and enjoy dressing up here and there.  But day to day, I'm a wash a go kinda gal.

About six months after I started my new skin-care routine with Dr. Bronner's and Coconut Oil, I found essential oils and fell in love.  Essential oils are volatile oils that absorb into our skin with amazing results!   I will caution that not ALL essential oils are created equal.  You can read more about that here, but that's not what this post is about.

I eventually found the exact right mixture for my face that has reduced the signs of wrinkles, protects from sun exposure, and all the clogged pores are a thing of the past!

Enjoy this free recipe for your own Naturally Beautiful Moisturizer:

For Printable Version, Click on Recipe

Dr Bronner's Castille Soap

I started to write a post with a recipe and realized that Dr Bronner's really is the foundation of so many recipes that I needed to let you know about this soap first!

I began my life with Dr Bronner's Castille Soap in an effort to find a cheaper alternative to skin care a few years go.

 Experience drives me.  I LOVE experiences.  Visiting new places, eating new foods (good or bad), making a fun craft, spending time with old friends, making new friends - they drive me - they give me life!!!

I was spending $65 a month on my face.  I was not happy about it at all.  There were other things I would prefer to do with $65 other than clean and moisturize my face.  However, my face was also important and I didn't want to ignore that either.

After doing a lot of research, I decided to go with Dr Bronner's Castille Soap as a cleanser.  A $10.99 bottle would last 2 years as a cleanser.  It is completely natural and many bloggers recommended it as an excellent cleanser!  (my moisturizer recipe will be next)

I sought out my first bottle of castille soap at our local grocery store - Sprouts.

I had to ask an employee for help.  She told me that it was good for the washing machine, dishwasher, dish soap, hand soap, body wash, and face wash.  I was pretty shocked that it was an all-in-one, but I was really only ready for one purpose - my face!

At that point, I stuck with using the soap only as a the face wash.  It took less than a dime size drop to soap up my entire face.  I was immediately in love - my face was clean and felt great!

It has done a fabulous job as a face wash.

But NOW...I use it EVERYWHERE!!!

It is my body wash.

Used in recipes for hand soap, dish soap, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent, soft scrub, and to wash my car, it has proven very effective.

Dr Bronner's Castille Soap is all natural, chemical free, wonderful goodness.

When I purchased my first bottle, I read the bottle which was full of crazy thoughts and sayings.  They still are and might cause some to be put off by the whole deal.  From what I've read, his real life resembled the craziness you find on the bottle.  He was a survivor of the Holocaust which shaped his life.   Although he, himself, might have had a few screws loose, his soap is all that and a bag of chips too.  You can read a bit about Dr Bronner with a simple google search.

There are other brands of castille soap that aren't filled with quite so much rhetoric on the bottle, but I definitely prefer Dr Bronner's to the other ones I have tried.

Live Life Everyday - Oridnarily Extroidary

I was just reading a post from Jon Acuff who his helping to launch an initiative for women coming out of prostitution.  I first thought to myself, it is cool that because of his notoriaty that he is able to help bring awareness on such a grand scale.


That made me think of how my everyday, ordinary life is not for naught.  I can make a difference everyday in the space that is around me.

I do not ever want to rest on my laurels of believing that because I reached out once in life (or maybe 50 times) that I am done; however, I want to share a story to hopefully inspire you - and remind myself.

In May a woman came to church with a little girl.  She looked like an ordinary, everyday woman living her life.  When I introduced myself to her I did not expect my life to be altered.  We had a bit of small talk to begin with.  When we realized we had lived in the same state and in my little, itty bitty hometown of 1800 people resides one of her best friends, she began to open up.

"Marie" has 2 boys she has not seen in years and a 6 year old little girl she hasn't seen in 6 months.  Her husband left her last year with her girl.  She stopped using Meth in January and alcohol is her drug of choice at this point.  Marie is a stripper by trade as her felony history makes getting a "real" job almost impossible.  Marie wants to change her life but her history keeps her returning to what she knows.

With a houseful of 12 people (who were all at church too), I invited Marie to lunch, with just me.  Ray took care of all of our company.

At lunch, accompanied by the adorable 7 year daughter "Megan" of a man Marie is residing with, I heard stories of hope and hopelessness.

Marie's husband was the owner of a club she worked in previously.  He was "proud" of her for getting back to work and earning her own way.  This pride was devastating to Marie.  She wanted to know what man actually takes pride in a woman sharing her body with the world.  Marie said no woman she knows can go into these situations without an intoxicated brain - "no woman wants a man to look at her that way.  We all have to have an altered brain or there is no way we can do this work."

Marie and I did not talk in too much detail because of Megan's presence.  Megan left the table here and there when Marie would open up more.

I offered to have some conversations on Marie's behalf and gave her my information as she had no phone or address to offer.  She was going to be displaced of a home within the next two weeks.  I encouraged her to take a few action steps and promised information upon her return to church the following week.

Before we left one another I told her I would really like to understand the tears and sorrow in her eyes.  She asked why I care.  I told her that I have a 13 year old son that I would love to protect from the pain of pornography but feel a bit hopeless as it seems like an impossible snare.  I told her that from her tears I know there is pain and to understand that pain helps me to understand more about why this snare is so terrible.

Marie told me, "I have two sons.  I have a daughter.  I have read the Bible.  I know my life is wrong.  I know I destroy marriages.  I know Jezabbel from the Bible and I am her."   She went on to tell me that one night when she was at work, she went out for a break.  "Across the street was a field of horses.  They were all dark.  They were dead - not dead as in death - but had no life, you know?  There eyes were hollow, they had no fat on their bodies, they were skeletons.  But then, a white horse, full of life came up in the midst.  God showed me that the white horse was me - the white horse was full of life in the midst of death.  He told me that I was choosing to live amongst the dead and it was time for me to move through death and into life."

We said our good-byes and looked forward to meeting the next week.

The next week came and Marie DID show up.  She had moved to another strangers home during the week and got a cell phone.  We exchanged information and prayed - we prayed for a long time with lots of tears and time.

Marie told me that some Christians won't speak to her and others just tell her they love her no matter what.  "They don't encourage me to change - they just 'love' me."  She told me that she doesn't think either Christian is right.  "What I do is not ok - it's not ok with me and it's not ok with God."

I looked at Marie in the eyes and with complete genuine love told her, "Marie, I love you.  I don't love you because of what you do or don't do.  I don't care if you are the CEO of a large company, a mom, a stripper, or a prostitute, I love you because you are a wonderful, beautifully made princess of the One true King - and that alone is enough of a reason to love you."  I went on, "I don't want you to continue to hurt yourself.  I don't want you to continue to live in this life that brings misery.  I want you to choose a new life - a new life that brings the fullness of everything God desires for you.  I want you to choose a new life - a new life that you can be proud of.  I want you to choose a new life - a life free of addictions and pain."  I further explained, "Marie, I want to walk through this with you - but if you come back next week and have continued to do that which you do not want, I will still love you.  When I see you, I see a child of God - a woman of love - a woman of desire."

This is the last time that I have seen or talked to Marie.

Unfortunatley, our church closed it's doors two weeks later and she did not attend either of the following two weeks.

I don't know why God chose for our paths to cross for this short period of time.

I was just living my everyday ordinary life - God brought Marie into it - for a short period of time.

She hasn't returned any texts since two weeks after our last encounter.

Marie changed my life - she allowed me to see into the life of one who lives very differently than me.  She allowed my family to see that God is everywhere - even in the strip clubs - even in places where others do not want him to be.  I pray that my sons have been saved from a life of addiction.

My hope is that Marie knows she is loved by God but honestly, I hope she knows she is loved by me.

I will never stop praying for Marie.

...and Megan - the 7 year old little girl - I don't know much of her story.  I know she does not have a mom and lives with secrets.  I pray for her safety.  I pray for her to be loved and loved well.  I pray that the God of this universe would protect her and make himself known to her.

May we all live our everyday, ordinary lives for the One we call Father, King, Savior, Counselor!

Romans 12:1-2 - MSG
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

My name is Renee', and I am a sugar addict.

One of my favorite places to shop has been Sugar for the gummy twin cherries that are surrounded by other sugar goodness.

Here is a list of  reasons I love sugar...it could never be complete...

• sugar tastes good
• candy is delicious
• cookies are delicious
• brownies make me happy
• the salted carmel cake pops at Starbucks are amazing
• I like to see children happy - they are happy when given sugary treats
• I like to see my husband happy - he is happy when given sugary treats
• Circuses, parades, birthday parties, general parties, fairs, boardwalks, vacations - they all promote a sugary good time!!!!

Why do I know I should not like sugar (the processed kind)?

• diabetes 
• obesity
• mood crashes
• empty calories
• liver function
• metobolic function
• addictive nature

THE TIME HAS COME...to watch the documentary Fed Up, make new habits, and rid my life of its sugar addiction by saying good-bye.  I decided that on June 3rd, 2015, I would choose to start living wisely with regards to sugar - a new life - a life without processed, refined sugar.  

I spent the month prior preparing for THE day.  

 

There was some very intentional prepartion that needed to take place.  For one, I ate all the delicacies I would "miss" in the future.  I took time out of a very busy month to make personal visits to locations that would miss me in the future.  One such time, I gathered the troops (the family), loaded up the chariot (a 2007 Honda Odyssey), drove miles away (7 to be exact), and entered the lab (a bakery). 

I sauntered into the smell of baking goodness to my favorite confectionery, Kneaders.  As I stared at the display counters, my mouth watered at the sites of the deliciousness placed before my eyes. 
I planned carefully what dessert would be my last Kneaders dessert based on the choices of each and every one of my team members.  I may have altered their decision making based on the needs of my taste buds that fine Thursday, May 28th where I had the task to taste each of the 6 members of my families, sweet, delicious delicacies all in the name of preparation.

Another item on the to do list - research alternatives...I DO intend to enjoy desserts in life - just not processed, sugary desserts.  I did research to learn what sweeteners I WILL continue to

use or add into my life - honey, maple syrup, and a bit of stevia.  There are a lot of alternative sweeteners....honey, molasses, maple syrup, stevia, agave, brown sugar, turbinado, yellow packets, blue packets, etc.  Brown sugar is just processed white sugar in disguise; that's out!  All of the chemically laiden artificial sweeteners don't match up to my attempt to live a whole foods, chemical free life; they're out.  Agave is "natural" but is more concentrated than high fructose corn syrup, so the way our body processes it is actually not optimal either; that's out.  The research on raw honey has boggled my mind.  Across the board, all agree, there are amazing benefits of raw honey.  Even the Bible mentions the need for honey in our lives.  Honey will most certainly remain a sweetener in my household.  Maple syrup is a great sweetener with a low glycemic index.  Maple syrup stays!  Stevia is a non-calorie, plant based sweetener with mixed reviews in the research I have done.  I am not anti-stevia and it will have a place in my life.  Molasses is also a good alternative, but quite frankly, it's nasty without processed sugar along with it (which is what brown sugar is).  It's not out...but not one I would choose either.

In order to make this a positive change in my life, I also need to know WHY I chose to do this.  If I keep the why close to my heart, I will stick with a no sugar life. 

My first why is spiritual - it first started as a part of a fast I was planning.  As the time came nearer, I realized that it wasn't just for "a time" but that it would be for all time.  When I crave and desire the sugar, I will remember the sacrifice of Jesus.  This why really came out of a desire for a healthier life which is a continual process.  I want to keep up with my future grandkids - that means that today I have to prepare for that time. Understanding why sugar is not good for my body is important.  Years ago I gave up caffeine for health reasons and years later, I am better off because of it.  I believe that when sugar is out of my life, I will have a clearer head, more sustained energy, less fat, and a healthier functioning immune system.  The reminder of the benefits I will receive help me to push through the hard of no sugar!

I look forward to making new things.  I have been collecting recipes that don't replace my bad habits with new bad habits but with delicious foods that will have other benefits as well.  It is so fun to learn new things.

Here is one recipe I am anxious to try...

Check out the link below the recipe to read about how many amazing health benefits there are when you eat this jello too!

Real Food Blueberry Jello Recipe

Posted By Robin Konie On May 18, 2015 @ 1:00 am

Real Food Blueberry Jello Recipe

 
Ingredients

• 3 cups blueberries
• 2 cups filtered water
• 1/2 cup maple syrup (preferably organic grade B)
• 1/8 cup lemon juice
• 3 Tbsp gelatin (preferably grass fed)

Directions

1. Pour water and blueberries into a large pot and bring to a boil.
2. Use an immersion blender to mash the blueberries and water.
3. Strain the mixture and put back in the pot.
4. Add syrup and lemon juice.
5. Add 3 Tbsp gelatin and mix well with the immersion blender.
6. Pour into a pan or jello mold.
7. Let cool.
8. Place in fridge for 2 hours.
9. Enjoy!

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Article printed from Thank Your Body: http://www.thankyourbody.com
URL to article: http://www.thankyourbody.com/blueberry-jello-recipe/

Living Wisely is a continual process.  As we grow and learn, we gain wisdom.  Open your mind, learn, read, discern - never stop!  May you be inspired to make a positive change in your life too!

gave is indeed "natural"., and has those small benefits. BUT: it also contains even more concentrated fructose, than high-fructose-corn-syrup. Look it up.
FRUCTOSE goes straight to fat storage--a liability for the obese and for most diabetics. 
Yes, fructose "hits" slower than glucose--because it is going into long-term storage.
Better options for weight loss and blood sugar balancing would be Stevia, Monk Fruit, and yes, even molasses or a small amount of raw honey. 

resources for more information:

http://www.livescience.com/39601-stevia-facts-safety.html

http://www.organicauthority.com/Superfood-Sweetener-Maple-Syrup-Low-Glycemic

http://www.ucsf.edu/news/2013/02/13591/quantity-sugar-food-supply-linked-diabetes-rates

http://www.oprah.com/health/Sugar-Substitutes-Healthy-Natural-Sweeteners/2 (notice the comments for information on Agave)

http://authoritynutrition.com/10-disturbing-reasons-why-sugar-is-bad/

Living Wisely

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months....YEARS!

They pass by quickly.

As they pass - we choose - living wisely - or just living...

Living Wisely simply means that we seek to live, to learn, and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

As time passes, a person with an inkling of wisdom chooses to learn from the choices that time has brought.

Living Wisely does not have an age.

Living Wisely does not have a gender.

Living Wisely does not have a particular education.

Living Wisely DOES seek truth!

BUT 

Living Wisely does not stop at seeking truth -

 Living Wisely aims to apply that truth to life!